Did you know that being kind and being nice aren’t the same thing? A lot of people think they are, but they’re really different! Kindness means you care about someone from the heart, while being nice often comes from wanting others to like you.

Some of us grow up feeling like we have to be perfect to earn love or acceptance. This can make us focus on being nice to keep everyone happy. But when you’re always being nice, you’re not being true to yourself, and that can leave you feeling frustrated and even upset.

If you want better relationships, it’s important to be kind instead of just nice. 

Here’s 3 simple ways to start now:

1. Know Your Deal-Breakers and Stop Saying Yes to Everything

Some people say “yes” all the time because they don’t want to upset others. But when you do this, you stop thinking about what YOU really want or need. It’s important to figure out your "deal-breakers"—the things you just can’t accept in a relationship.

When you’re focused on pleasing others, it’s easy to ignore what you truly want. But saying yes to everything will only leave you frustrated. I work with many singles who have trouble with this, and I guide them in setting better boundaries. It helps to have someone you trust, like a mentor or friend, who can help you notice when you’re doing this.

2. Be Honest About Your Feelings

People who are too nice often hide how they really feel. They might avoid telling the truth because they don’t want to cause problems. But if you don’t share your real feelings, the person you’re dating will never truly get to know the real you.

Being honest doesn’t mean you have to share every little thought, but it’s important to be truthful when it matters. Even if it feels hard or you’re worried about disappointing someone, it’s better to be yourself. Hiding your feelings—even with small lies—can push people away. Trust grows when you’re honest from the start.

3. Be Supportive, But Set Limits

People who are too nice often give too much and then burn out. It’s great to be caring and supportive, but you need to think about why you’re saying “yes” to people. If you give too much, you’ll start feeling tired and eventually angry and resentful.

Before you do something for someone ask yourself, “Am I comfortable with what they’re asking?” It’s okay to say “no” if it doesn’t feel right. By setting limits, you teach others how to treat you, and you’ll find people who respect your boundaries.

If you want healthier, happier relationships, focus on being kind—not just nice—and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. These tips will help you build lasting, meaningful connections with the people in your life and healthier relationships with your future partners.

What other ways can you think of to be more kind instead of just nice? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to reply—I’ll be reading each and every response.

Remember: 

You’re only 1 date away from a relationship!

Much love,

Xx Elixabeth

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