Imagine working with a photographer who refuses to hand over your pictures until every strand of hair is in place, every shadow erased, every single detail airbrushed into oblivion.

Sounds ideal, right? But when you finally see the photos, they feel stiff, over-produced, and unnatural. The real magic—the spark in your eyes, the laugh you didn’t mean to have, the slightly messy moment that made it you—is gone.

The truth is, perfection might look flawless, but it rarely feels alive. The same is true in dating.

Perfectionists think they’re protecting themselves from mistakes. They carefully curate their dating profile. They avoid situations where rejection could happen. They wait until they’re “ready” to put themselves out there.

But perfectionism isn’t about aiming high—it’s about avoiding failure. And when you avoid failure at all costs, you also avoid the risks that lead to love.

Dating is inherently imperfect. It’s awkward conversations. It’s missed cues. It’s laughing too loud. It’s showing up as yourself, not the polished version.

I see this most often in what I call the Delayer.

Delayers put off dating because they don’t feel “ready.” 

They tell themselves:

• I need to lose ten pounds first.

• I should go to more therapy.

• I have to get further in my career.

• I’ll start once life feels more stable.

It’s the perfectionist trap in disguise—waiting until every condition is flawless before taking a step. 

But no one is ever 100% ready. 

There is no such thing as guaranteed success in dating. The only way forward is to step into the imperfection.

When my marriage ended and I started dating again, 

I was an epic mess. 

I went on date after date after date—even when they went horribly wrong. There were nights I came home embarrassed, nights I felt hopeless, nights I wanted to delete every app and give up completely.

But I didn’t. I kept going. And every awkward, failed, cringeworthy date taught me something. It built resilience. It forced me to get comfortable with imperfection. And eventually, that willingness to fail forward is what opened the door to real connection. If I had waited until I was “ready,” I’d still be waiting.

That’s why I tell my clients: 

Stop aiming for perfect. Aim for excellence.

Excellence means effort, growth, and courage. It means taking action even when you don’t feel ready. It means recognizing that failing at a date doesn’t mean you’re a failure—it just means you’re human.

Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, grew up with her father asking her at the dinner table: “What did you fail at this week?” If she didn’t have an answer, he’d be disappointed. That one question taught her to redefine failure—not as proof she’d done something wrong, but as evidence she was trying.

What if you applied that same mindset to dating?

This week, take one risk that pushes you out of your comfort zone: start a conversation with someone instead of keeping your head down, invite your date to try something you’re not great at—like salsa dancing or a painting class, or say what you’re actually feeling, even if it’s vulnerable.

Will it be perfect? Absolutely not. But that’s the point. Every imperfect step you take builds resilience—and resilience is what makes love possible.

Dating success doesn’t come from flawless execution. It comes from showing up, taking risks, and letting yourself be seen—messy edges and all.

What's 1 risk you're willing to take this week? 

One thing you can do is practice stepping into imperfection.

You can do this by joining me for my 17-Day Dating Sprint. It’s designed to get you out of your comfort zone, into action, and making real connections. 

We start next week— and I don't want you to miss it.

 Sign up now → 17-Day Dating Sprint

Xx,

Elizabeth

P.S. Lock in your spot today before the price increases by clicking here.