There's a dating trend taking hold called Clear-Coding.

It's basically the opposite of making someone guess.

It's being clear about what you want, what you mean, what you're available for and what you're not.

If you want a committed relationship, say it.

If you like someone, tell them.

If you don't want something, state your preference.

But here's the part we often miss:

You can't be clear with someone else if you're not clear with yourself.

This is why presence matters in dating

We often think successful dating requires better texting strategies, better profiles, better flirting or knowing exactly what to say.

But underneath all of it is something much more fundamental:

Are you present enough to know what's actually happening?

Because when you are, you don't have to spend as much time decoding someone else.

You can notice whether you're genuinely interested or simply enjoying being wanted.

You can recognize when you're responding because you want to or because you feel obligated.

You can allow someone else to reveal themselves instead of rushing in to manage the interaction.

And you can make choices based on what you're actually experiencing.

And that's one of the things I'm seeing unfold inside my 14-Day Present Company Challenge.

We're going into Week Two and the women are already discovering some pretty interesting things about themselves.

One woman realized she automatically answers every question a man asks her on a dating app. By pausing, she discovered:

"I don't have to answer everything. I get to choose."

Another noticed her tendency to follow up and chase when someone hadn't responded. She chose to stay silent instead and realized that silence doesn't always require action.

Someone else noticed that when she gave another person her full attention, they relaxed. They took off their armour. They exhaled.

And another woman caught herself deflecting a compliment instead of simply receiving it. She realized that being appreciated could make her feel uncomfortable.

These might seem like small discoveries.

But they're information.

And dating gets a whole lot easier when you have better information about yourself.

That's really what Present Company is about.

Not becoming a better version of yourself for someone else.

Becoming more present so you can notice what you're actually feeling, wanting and choosing.

And the more present you become, the less you have to decode.

We're going into Week Two.

But it's not too late to join us.

If you've been thinking about doing the challenge, come on in. You can start now and see what becoming more present reveals about you.

JOIN THE PRESENT COMPANY CHALLENGE

And I've had many men sign up even though this particular challenge was created for women.

So if you're a man and you'd like me to create a 14-Day Present Company Challenge for men, reply PRESENT below.

I may just create one.

To your magnetism,

Elizabeth