In 1974 two psychologists ran a now-famous experiment on a swaying suspension bridge in Canada.

An attractive woman stopped men as they crossed, asked them a few questions and gave them her phone number in case they had questions about the study.

Then she did the same thing on a sturdy, low bridge nearby.

The men on the shaky bridge were far more likely to call her.

Same woman. Same questions. The only difference was the bridge. Their hearts were pounding from the height, and their bodies read it as attraction.

Your body does this too.

That rush you feel with someone new? Sometimes it’s chemistry. Sometimes it’s nerves. Sometimes it’s the familiar pull of someone who’s just unavailable enough to keep you guessing.

And the person who feels calm and easy? Your body might file them under “boring” and move on before you ever find out who they are.

This is why so many people say “they check all the boxes but there’s no chemistry” and walk away from someone who could have been right for them. They trust the first signal their body sends without asking what it actually means.

Spark isn’t useless. It’s just not the whole story. Real attraction can show up on the second or third conversation, once your nervous system settles down enough to notice who’s in front of you.

So next time you feel nothing on a first date, ask yourself one question before you write them off:

Is there no spark, or is there no drama?

Those aren’t the same thing.

I’m building something to help you figure out which is which. It’s called DEE, and it’s designed to show you who you’re actually drawn to once you get past first impressions.

Want first access?

Take the quiz to see if DEE is right for you. Links below.”

DEE for women

DEE for men

To your magnetism,

Elizabeth